If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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