I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
