On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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