in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
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