You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize