Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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