We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
