she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
