Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
