your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
BRING THE BAGELS
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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