new low.... made out with someone while peeing
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
