Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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