I feel like abortions should bother me more
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
