hotel room ftw
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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