his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
