we're blogging at a bar
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
