Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
