operation have a gay friend backfired
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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