so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
