u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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