you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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