I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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