my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just high enough for therapy.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
