shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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