There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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