is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my shit smells like andre
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
