You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
