Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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