It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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