Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
