With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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