I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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