My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
