It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I had to cum in my sink.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
