Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he thought i was a dude.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
