Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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