sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
