party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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