Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
