Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize