So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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