there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
