Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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