LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My day in three words: secret purse cake
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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