Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
