My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
