you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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