ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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