just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
