If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
