It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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