please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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