There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
