there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
