So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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