I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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