yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
