Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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